win, lose or draw: monday afternoon adventures at whole foods

Adventure the First: Here’s Lookin’ at You, Kid

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This dude makes me want to have a dinner party, because the idea of serving guests an entrée that stares them down is highly amusing to me.

Adventure the Second: My Two Cents, Literally

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Dear Whole Foods:

Two cents off does not a last chance clearance price make. I would humbly suggest that everyone who enters your store donate the two cents saved on that LAST CHANCE! clearance sale to hire a math tutor for whoever does your pricing.

Adventure the Third: Coconuts for You

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If you’ve ever seen this Coco Libre sparkling organic coconut water from concentrate and thought, “wow, that sounds disgusting,” you would be correct. Not possessing your power of clairvoyance, I can tell you that this particular product tastes as though a lemon had sex with a coconut, then they stuck the used condom in a can and poured some fizzy water over it.

Final Score:

You – 1
Me – 0
Whole Foods – negative 2, because that two cents off thing is really inexcusable

Loser: The red snapper, because at least the rest of us are alive and not about to served up at someone’s dinner party.

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