your name is not always your destiny

I participate in various listservs, including several from my almaeĀ matres. One of them had That Person. You know That Person. She (in this case, it was a she) was the one who was always stirring up trouble, needling people, just generally being horrible. So, like any normal person who cannot abide that shit would do, I blocked her. And then I didn’t think about her for four beautiful years.

Her name popped up yesterday on LinkedIn, under “People You Might Know.” That site really needs a category called “People You Do Not Care to Know,” but I’ll pitch Reid Hoffman later. Let’s stay on track.

Under this person’s “About Me” section were the words “I just want to create beauty and encourage love, peace and kindness…” For those who struggle with short-term memory loss or reading comprehension, I refer you to the first paragraph.

Ironically, and I think this is actual irony, not Alanis-irony, this particular person was named for a virtue. Suffice to say the name did not befit the personality.

This is why it’s vital to be prudent when choosing a baby’s name. Prudence, as it happens, is one of the four cardinal virtues, and is a name best given to a child who will be raised to practice a great deal of common sense. And preferably one who is born with a faint moustache, rheumatism, and a fondness for Yorkshire terriers and classism.