slow your roll, PETA

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Pretty sure this is a more a statement about your taste in romantic partners than it is one about the greatness of your dog. And more likely a statement on you as a romantic partner. To be fair, all of your former partners probably thought your dog was the best part of the deal as well.

I don’t get these dog people. Not dog-people as in half person, half dog, people who think their dogs are EVERYTHING. Like, the greatest thing since that machine that slices an entire loaf of bread AT ONCE.

And don’t say “unconditional love.” Unconditional love doesn’t gouge your furniture and sniff your crotch without permission. When men do that, we call it sexual harassment.

Also, I can’t decide if a dog-person would be cool or SCARY AS ALL GET OUT.

dog-people

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